Before you begin to agree with a loved one on small household issues, for example, which bath mat to purchase or what color of the kitchenware to choose, try to reach an agreement on more global issues. It is better to discuss some serious matters in advance before you start living together with a partner.
So, there are five difficulties that loving couples often encounter when deciding to move in together and that are worth considering before you start living with a loved one.
How do you both feel about marriage?
This may seem like a rather strange question for loving couples who have already made a decision to move in together. However, you should ensure that your motives are the same, as for every person, coupledom suggests different things. For one, this is a normal stage before the wedding. And another can consider it as just a next step in relations, without any future expectations. So, think about why you have made such a choice. It is great if the perspective of marriage does not frighten both of you away. But if you want to come together to fix an emotionally abusive relationship or save the fading feelings, ask yourself, is it worth to save them at all?
Decide who pays the bills and who does the cleaning
Household chores and money issues are the two main causes of family quarrels. How does your partner behave in difficult situations? Is he ready to take responsibility and help you? When people start living together, the behavioral patterns inherent in them, come into the picture. It is obvious that you share with a loved one not only living space but also real life. So, you should identify that both of you have an idea of how to live together: how to pay bills, do the cleaning, cook food, keep the house, etc.
Ideally, you need to realize how you and your loved one embrace the situation. In such matters, there are no ideals and correct solutions – just try to develop a scheme of coupledom that will suit you both. And most importantly, if you do not like how, for example, the partner vacuums, you should not think that you have stopped loving him. Ask yourself, do you have concerns specifically about your beloved or about your inflated expectations?
How to diversify sex life?
Most people are convinced that the sex life of a couple changes with the development of relationships. And almost everybody expects that living together will result in complete fading of interest in each other and the transformation of passionate sex into a simple routine. But these are only you and your loved one who can make sex better over time.
People often complain about the lack of novelty in an intimate relationship but forget about the great importance of the unique knowledge of all the sexual desires and erogenous zones of a loved one. After all, long coupledom does not always involve freshness in sexual life and relationships in general. Of course, romantic dates are a proven way to liven up a relationship. But believe us, if you devote at least one day off to each other and to experiments in bed, this will bring much more benefit to your relationship.
How do you break up squabbles?
It is one of the most important questions you should consider before moving in together. After all, the way couples deal with conflicts affects their relationship. But even if you had some small disagreements or big quarrels earlier, everything will be different when you move in together.
You have to change the way you argue and quarrel when you start living with your loved one. At a minimum, you will have nowhere to go, slamming the door loudly, especially if your apartment is not very big. Moreover, it is possible that not only the manner of quarreling will change but also a cause for controversies. For example, if before, you have turned a blind eye to the chronic tardiness of your beloved, it can begin to annoy you when you start living together.
Also, coupledom requires good management skills. After all, you will always have disputes and differences of opinion. And only couples who are ready to accept this and deal with problems together have a chance to create a happy relationship.
And what if you need to by yourself?
One of the biggest changes you will notice when move in together with a loved one in the same apartment is the absolute lack of privacy that you are used to having before. Overwhelmed by the delight and novelty of living together with a partner, people often underestimate the importance of personal space. So, how to deal with it? If you have the opportunity to share rooms in the house, then this is a great problem solution. For example, you can agree who and when takes a particular room. But if it is impossible, you should try to look for a solution to the problem outside the apartment – there are special interest clubs, dancing, fitness, yoga classes, etc. Sometimes, it is reasonable to spend time in isolation from one another.