I miss drawing.
That was the part of me that fell off when I started realizing the realities and responsibilities of life. Somehow in the middle of the stressful 24/7 lessons of adulthood and trying to make a living, my carefree and creative energy was lost.
I fell in love with drawing during my 5th grade at P.Villanueva Elementary School.
During my sophomore year at Sta. Clara, my charcoal painting of St. Dominic Savio was recognized as the best entry for the category and my watercolor ‘canoe’ and ‘river’ was also specially mentioned.
My imagination went wild during my Junior and Senior years and have started making illustrated comic books on notebooks that my classmates would read during the class. “Ryan was 4-E’s comic maker” -as stated on our graduation journal.
However, college life closed most of the portals where I can express my creative energies, it was largely occupied by heavy school schedules and of course the usual ‘Barkada’ gimmicks which involves parties, drinking sessions and outings. If not for my organization in San Rafael I will not have any chance to expand my creative abilities through singing, guitars and occasionally through stage acting and directing.
I took nursing out of necessity and because it was not a decision that I had the privilege of making – but of course it’s my fault as well.. Even though I loved drawing so much.. pushing the skill forward through college never came to mind.
But I really miss drawing a lot.
Maybe that part of me is already locked in my childhood.
A part of my history.
Something to look back to and remember.
I usually doodle during meetings, while talking on the phone, when thinking – it’s like a pre-programmed activity that I have. I still do this.
Maybe it’s not entirely lost.
Just like most of the things I used to like:
Going up on rooftops and staring at the stars on a clear night.
Eating ‘Manggang Hilaw’ dipped in bagoong.
Playing my guitar and writing songs.
Hanging out at Manang’s place with my CYO buddies.
Eating halo-halo and Pancit Palabok at ElyGlofan
Boiled egg on red rice with mechado sauce for a midnight snack at Harlem’s
Playing ‘Baril-Barilan’ inside Jose Rizal School
Singing with the choir
Acting on a stage
‘Tambay’ at P.Villanueva
It’s sad that everything’s different now but I am very lucky to have such memories with me and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Maybe I’ll get a chance to do it all again.
I miss drawing so much.